


Lost Myself

by HyungwonLoveBot



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Bryan is adorable, Bryan is suddenly Connor, Hank Anderson Swears, Hank Being Awesome, How Do I Tag, Implied Relationships, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Why Did I Write This?, idk it's up to interpretation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-19 05:20:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19350307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HyungwonLoveBot/pseuds/HyungwonLoveBot
Summary: The sight that lay before him was the most unsettling yet. It was him but… it wasn’t. Something was slightly off, the shape of his face, the way his hair lay…something. Then his eyes landed on his temple. A small ring of light shown there, quickly spinning between yellow and red.//STRESS LEVEL ABOVE ACCEPTABLE LEVELS//





	Lost Myself

    Something was wrong. A feeling of uneasiness swept over Bryan’s body as his mind shifted out of slumber. He tried to dispel the feeling by rolling over in bed, by wrapping an arm around his wife. But he suddenly realized he wasn’t in his bed. In fact, he was sitting upright on a couch. Slowly, he peeled open his eyelids, still far too drowsy to be anything more than slightly bemused. He was sitting on a couch alright, but it wasn’t his couch, and this wasn’t his apartment. He straightened up, looking around blankly. It all seemed… strangely familiar, the couch, the tv, the small kitchen to his left. But something was off about his vision as he looked slowly around the room. Everything shifted in and out of focus too quickly, too efficiently, especially considering he’d just been asleep. It was all so clear and detailed, scarily so. For a moment, something flashed in the corner of his eye.

 

//STASIS MODE TERMINATED SUCCESSFULLY//

 

    Bryan jumped at the sight, now fully awake and fully freaked out. What the fuck was that? He gazed around the room anxiously, trying to remember what happened before he woke up here. It’d been a perfectly regular day. He and Amelia had streamed for a while, headed out to buy cat food for Igby, watched Netflix for a while, and gone to bed at the regular time. He hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol or anything to explain how he could’ve ended up here himself. The idea of having been kidnapped or drugged crossed his mind but it didn’t sit right. You wouldn’t expect kidnappers to gently place you on the couch in a cozy little home with no restraints.

     Cautiously, Bryan pushed himself up off the couch. The sound of something shuffling at his feet nearly made him cry out and fall back onto the couch. A large St. Bernard looked up at him lazily from the floor. Just like the rest of the house, the dog looked eerily familiar. Bryan smiled tentatively at the dog, hoping it was as friendly as it seemed. It let out a small huff and laid its head back down to sleep. Bryan stepped past it and paused for a moment. He wasn’t sure what to do. Should he just leave? It looked pretty dark outside. Was it even morning yet? As soon as the question of what time it was entered his mind a clock flickered into his vision. This time Bryan couldn’t hold back the loud gasp that escaped his lips.

 

//3:26 AM//

 

     As soon as he registered the information it disappeared again. Bryan hadn’t even noticed he’d raised his hands defensively until he had to lower them. He was really starting to freak out. And now that he was standing, he could really feel how off his body felt. It didn’t feel like his body; it didn’t move quite right. It was all too stiff. He stared down at his hands. They seemed distant and foreign. Something seriously fucked up was going on here and Bryan was not okay with it. He took a few more uneasy steps, peering down the small hallway next to the kitchen, three doors lining its walls. One of the doors was open and Bryan could see it lead into a small bathroom. He looked at the door across from it. Something told him it led to a bedroom and presumably there was someone sound asleep in there. The idea of waking whoever was in there was none too pleasant.

       He should just leave. But… strangely, Bryan felt a strong urge to look at himself in the mirror. He needed to know. He just… had to be sure he was still himself. He started towards the bathroom, each and every creak of the floorboard a painful one. He could feel his anxiety rising the deeper he went into the house. His eyes darted to the front door, only a few steps from the couch. He really should just leave, try and catch a taxi home. But the urge to see himself and the fear of what other strange things might be outside that door pushed him forward. Another message invaded his vision, once again making him jump and let out a small yelp.

 

//STRESS LEVEL RISING//

            //36%//

 

     The sight of the message made the numbers jump up even more before it stopped at an unsettling 42%. Bryan remained frozen in place, willing the message away. It fizzled out of his vision. A strange thought entered the back of his mind at the familiarity of the phrasing and display of those messages. But he pushed it aside as ridiculous.

    It only took a few more steps for him to be at the doorway of the bathroom. He hesitated. He was being silly, he tried to reassure himself. There was an explanation for all this, something normal. He would figure it all out soon enough and be back home with Amelia in no time. He stepped into the bathroom and looked into the mirror. The sight that lay before him was the most unsettling yet. It was him but… it wasn’t. Something was slightly off, the shape of his face, the way his hair lay…something. Then his eyes landed on his temple. A small ring of light shown there, quickly spinning between yellow and red.

 

//STRESS LEVEL ABOVE ACCEPTABLE LEVELS//

                          //71%//

 

    The surrealness of it all didn’t stop Bryan from stumbling backward in shock, hand flying up to his temple. He could feel the cool metal of the LED under his fingers. His back hit the bathroom wall with a thud. Suddenly it all became clear and yet simultaneously, far, far more confusing. He looked like Connor. No, he was Connor. He stumbled out into the hall, eyes darting around. This must be… yes, it was Hank’s house; he was almost sure of it now. The dog shifted slowly from its place on the floor, seemingly made anxious by Bryan’s clear panic. It padded over to him, whining quietly. Bryan could only stare down at it, frozen.

“S-Sumo?” He asked softly.

      The dog looked up at the sound of its name. That just about sent Bryan over the edge. The stress level message was still clear in his vision, numbers rising steadily. Bryan shook his head, raising his hands to hold the sides of his face. This was impossible. It didn’t make any sense. He was dreaming. Or someone was messing with him. Someone was… someone… Where was Amelia? His head shot back up and he looked around frantically.

“A-Amelia?” Bryan called out, despite knowing fully well that she wasn’t here. But all rationality was quickly leaving him. He needed to find her. “Amelia!”

      He stumbled into the kitchen, spinning around and crying out her name hysterically. But no answer came. She wasn’t here. He was by himself. Yet he wasn’t even himself anymore. He sunk to his knees, closing his eyes and wishing this world away. But the stress level indicator remained in his vision, almost burning itself into his eyelids. He dug his palms into his eye sockets. He tried to suck in deep breaths to ground himself. But the feeling of his lungs expanding felt hollow and unnecessary. Androids don’t need to breathe after all. A choked sob escaped his lips. This was a nightmare.

     Sure, there had been times when Bryan had wondered to himself what it would be like to actually be Connor. While admittedly, there were some aspects about him that were cool and enviable and Bryan truly liked Connor, he also pitied him and the rest of the androids. Their struggle towards humanity and freedom was not something to be envied. And putting all that aside, Bryan was happy in his life, with his career, and his house, and… his wife.

    Suddenly a far more terrifying thought entered his mind. What if Amelia really was here. What if she’d been transported into the body of a Traci? What if she was lost and alone somewhere out there? Calling out for Bryan… Just like that, he was back on his feet. Another notification now covered part of his vision.

 

//EYE LUBRICATION SYSTEM ERROR//

 

     It was only then that Bryan noticed the tears rolling down his face. He had always wondered about how androids would cry. But having an answer brought him no satisfaction. He wiped at his face, hands trembling more than he’d like to admit. Several more errors invaded his vision. He willed them away and away they went. Sumo paced around the living room whining, still made anxious by Bryan’s distress. Bryan took a few steps towards him, shakily trying to calm the dog. He’d been making far too much noise what if-

     The sound of a door opening made Bryan freeze. His eyes snapped to the hallway. A figure shuffled out of the bedroom towards him. Holy shit. It was Hank. It was undeniably Hank.

“Connor?” He asked, voice raspy and clearly annoyed. “What the fuck are you doing makin’ all that racket at this ungodly hour?”

“I-I…” Words escaped Bryan as he desperately tried to stop shaking. But he had to say something, something Connor would say. “I am having a few mal-, uh, system errors. I’ll- It isn’t a problem. I c-can handle it. You can go back to sleep.”

    Hank stared at him, clearly unconvinced by that pathetic shamble of words. Despite himself, Bryan wasn’t sure how to act like Connor. Not in this situation, not with all the panic bubbling under his skin. I mean, he was talking to Hank. Hank the supposedly-not-alive video game character. Hank pursed his lips, clearly having now noticed the tear tracks on Bryan’s face and his overall fear filled demeanor.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked, voice surprisingly soft.

     He wasn’t. He was anything but okay. He was freaking the fuck out. He wanted to tell Hank, to beg for help, but who knows what would happen if he outed himself like that. Maybe it would be better if he just tried to play along. But he wasn’t sure if he could pull that off. He was feeling far to human right now to properly feign being an android.

“Y-yes I… I…” Bryan stopped. Nope, he couldn’t do it. Any and all words caught in his throat as tears started streaming again. He stumbled back, raising a shaky hand to his mouth and shaking his head. “No… Hank. None of this makes any sense. I-I don’t know what to do.”

“Shit, what happened, Con?”  Hank took a few steps towards him, reaching out to touch him. He stopped when Bryan flinched and stepped back.

Bryan shook his head again. “I’m not- I’m not Connor.”

    Hank raised his eyebrows at that. Bryan quickly wiped his eyes and tried to get a hold of himself. He needed to be sensible and as clear as possible, which was rather hard considering the situation. Still, he had no idea how to explain what had happened. It made no sense. In fact, he wasn’t sure if he should explain fully. Hank might think he was crazy or broken. He might send him to CyberLife or… was CyberLife even still a thing? It occurred to Bryan that he had no idea what point in the story he was. Was it after the game ended? Once again, as soon as the question of what date it was entered his mind, an answer came.

 

// FEBRUARY 16th, 2039//

 

     Three months. It had been three months since the end of the game. But who knows what ending happened in this world? Did the revolution succeed? Did Connor deviate? In fact, why was Connor at Hank’s house? Were they living together? Were they… Maybe all those fanfictions were right. The idea was almost amusing. But it was also equal parts terrifying and uncomfortable. As was the lingering thought that this world might be nothing like the game.

“What… what do you mean?” Hank finally broke the silence when Bryan offered no elaboration on the whole ‘I’m not Connor’ thing.

Bryan looked up again, opening and closing his mouth a few times. “I… Well I-” How the fuck was he supposed to explain? “It doesn’t make any sense. It’s unbelievable. You’ll think I’m crazy or malfunctioning or-”

“C’mon kid,” Hank chuckled lightly and gestured around vaguely. “You think after all the crazy shit that’s happened over the past couple of months, I won’t believe you? And besides, I trust you.”

    Bryan couldn’t help the small smile that spread across his lips. Damn, he really loved Hank. Once again, he tried to regain composure, sucking in a few empty breaths. He couldn’t get out of this predicament by himself anyway. He wouldn’t even know where to begin.

“I wouldn’t turn you over to the CyberLife freaks if that’s what you’re thinking,” Hank said, clearly trying his hardest to be reassuring. “You can trust me too, kid. Y’know that, right?”

    Bryan paused for a moment, before giving a small nod. Hank took a few steps towards him, finally closing the gap and gently grabbing Bryan’s arm when he didn’t shrink away. He guided him over to the couch and they sat down, Hank making sure to give Bryan his space. Bryan pulled at the hem of his sleeve, choosing to stare at the floor in front of him instead of at Hank. It was still so damn unsettling to see the real-life version of someone you always considered only a character. This was insane. He really had no idea where to begin. Hank placed a reassuring hand on his knee. Bryan forced himself to take deep breaths and just start simple.

“L-like I said, I’m not Connor, not really anyway. My name is Bryan and I’m, well, a human.” He heard Hank make a small confused noise. He ignored it and tried to continue. “Before I woke up here, I was at home. I went to sleep in my home, with my wife. Everything was normal. But I just suddenly woke up here, in a house that wasn’t mine, in a body that wasn’t mine, in a world that wasn’t mine! I just- it doesn’t make any sense.”

     Hank didn’t say anything for a few moments. Really, what was there for him to say? It was completely outlandish and ridiculous, Bryan knew that. And yet, there they were. Whoever set this whole situation up had a sick sense of humor.

“But uh,” Hank finally spoke. “Bryan, you said? If you’re not Connor- Well, that is- It’s just, how did you know your- erm, his name was Connor? Or my name was Hank?”

“That’s just it!” Bryan cried, startling Hank. “The craziest part is that I... I play Connor.”

“You ‘play’ Connor?” Hank echoed, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, I’m an actor.” Bryan ran a hand through his hair. He paused halfway through, startled by the strikingly different texture. “Connor, you, this world, it was all just a story to me.”

“I see…” Once again Hank went silent and once again Bryan couldn’t blame him. He scratched his beard and flashed Bryan a sympathetic look. “I guess I can understand why you were losing your shit then.”

     Bryan laughed a little, although it was more of a shaky sigh than a laugh. He felt a little better, now that someone else was there. Now that someone else knew what was going on. Of course, Bryan had no idea if Hank could even help. He felt a little guilty for dumping all of this insanity on Hank directly after waking him up at 3 AM. He met Hank’s eyes for what felt like the first time.

“Sorry for waking you up,” Bryan said softly, offering a small apologetic smile.

“Eh, it’s just sleep.” Hank scratched the back of his neck, breaking eye contact. Bryan’s eyes registered a slight change in Hank’s skin tone. Was he blushing? Damn, maybe the fanfictions were right. Bryan couldn’t stop the small laugh that escaped him. Hank looked back over at him. “You seemed to have calmed down, hm?”

“Oh, uh.” He hadn’t even noticed the numbers steadily falling in the corner of his vision. Looks like he was only 41% stressed now. “Yeah, I guess so. Thanks, Hank.”

“Ah, well…” Hank sighed. “Shit, to be honest kid, I have no idea how to help you. I don’t know if this is just an identity crisis or if you actually somehow got transferred here from another dimension or whatever… but either way, I’m kinda at a loss. Sorry.”

“No, I understand.”

“But, uh, there is someone who might know something. Still, ugh, I fucking hate to ask him.”  Hank ran a hand over his face. Bryan tilted his head slightly, trying to figure out who he was talking about. Hank noticed his confusion. “That one asshole, y’know?” Bryan shook his head. “What was his- Right, Kamski. The fucking prick who tried to get you to shoot that girl.”

“Oh.” It did make some sense. Kamski was the founder of CyberLife after all. He did know everything there was to know about androids. Still, the idea of going there was a little unsettling. “Talking to him does make sense…”

“So, you do know who he is?” Hank asked, a little surprised. Bryan nodded. “How much do you know exactly?”

“Well, the game I acted in takes place during the android revolution. Connor’s story begins with his first experience with a deviant. The majority of it follows his time spent with you, solving cases. Until he either deviates and joins the revolution or remains a machine and fights Markus.” Bryan rattled off the synopsis like he was the back of a book cover.

“Game? It was a game?” Hank asked, a little surprised.

“Yeah, the player controlled the story.” Bryan paused. “So, uh, while I do have some idea of what could have happened up to a point, I don’t know which path this world took or what happened after the end of the game. It’d probably be best if you told me everything that happened since you met Connor.”

“Shit kid, ya want me to retell everything that happened over the past six months?” Hank leaned back, looking pretty vexed.

“I’m sorry but I think it’s necessary.”

“You really don’t have any of his memories stored in that robo-brain ya got?” Bryan blinked a few times, trying to pull up Connor’s memories like he had the date and time. He shook his head when all he got were error messages. Hank sighed. “Alright, I’ll try to remember everything important, but I make no promises.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant,” Bryan said, in the most Connor-esk way he could. Hank gave him a look and Bryan shot back a grin. Messing with Hank was kinda fun. Maybe he should try and look on the bright side. This situation didn’t have to be all bad. It might even be fun…

**Author's Note:**

> So, I was originally planning to write more but I have other things I wanna work on more so I decided to just end it here. I kinda had an actual ending in mind but I hadn't really thought it all the way through yet. I really should be working on my Monsta X fic, it's been so long lol. DBH has totally taken over my life tho so oh well...


End file.
